Cheatsheet
Perfectionism, Conditional Worth, and Fear of Error
A guide for identifying rigid standards, feared consequences, avoidance, and a measurable good-enough experiment.
Criteria, checks, and next step
01
Current situation and collaborative goal
Begin with observable events, the client’s language, and a goal that is useful now.
- What task and standard are being evaluated?
- Who defines “done,” and what objective requirements exist?
- What would improvement make possible in daily life?
02
Activation, body, and present-day context
Assess intensity, regulation, current risk, and what is happening in the environment.
- What is predicted if the result is merely adequate?
- How does the body respond to stopping?
- Does the pattern lead to overwork, procrastination, reassurance seeking, or avoidance?
03
Earlier learning as a hypothesis
Explore possible developmental links without leading, certainty, or pressure to recover memories.
- How were mistakes and achievement treated in important settings?
- What did exceptional performance secure or prevent?
- Which parts of the standard belong to current values rather than old fear?
04
Protective function and unmet need
Understand what the response prevents, preserves, communicates, or tries to obtain.
- Does perfectionism create control, approval, identity, or protection from criticism?
- What is lost through the endless standard?
- What need could be met more directly?
05
Adult response and small experiment
Translate insight into a realistic present-focused choice that can be reviewed later.
- Define a minimum viable result using observable criteria.
- Set a stopping time or number of review passes.
- Evaluate consequences and learning rather than whether anxiety disappeared.
Summary
Reduce the decision to a few points
- Summarize the client’s own formulation rather than presenting a definitive causal explanation.
- Identify one body-based or relational resource available after the session.
- Choose one observable experiment small enough to attempt before the next meeting.
- Review what would indicate that the plan needs to pause, change, or move to a higher level of care.
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